It’s 1:48 a.m., December 23, 2021. I woke up to a burst of worry if our newborn was okay because his last feeding was at 10:00 p.m. It felt like I slept the whole day only having roughly three hours of continuous sleep this round (we started with 30 minutes to 1 hour of sleep in between feedings; 2 hours was luxury; either was surprisingly sufficient).
Zaiah Ethan
My birthday came early with the birth of our dear Zaiah Ethan. His name means “God saves”(Isaiah) and “strong, safe, solid, and firm” (Ethan). Having been through a whole lot right before (miscarrriage that took 15 weeks long), and while I carried him in my womb—our little family contracting COVID, my father-in-law’s passing, extended family getting COVID, and a few more stuff in between—we knew what we wanted to declare for him through his name. God saves. He is strong and mighty to save. And our dear Ethan would be safe as he grows up firm in his faith.
Hallelujah: A Season of Joy
Before the operation, the OR team asked me what songs I wanted in the background. “Christmas,” I said. Their playlist ranged from “All I Want for Christmas is You” to, right at that moment when Ethan was being taken out of me, I’m not sure what song it was but “Hallelujah” was being sung repeatedly. Tears fell from my eyes as I heard our dear baby’s first cry while the “Hallelujah” vocals continued. It pretty much summed up our 8-year marriage—down or up, sickness or health, death or life, God be praised!
When Ethan was placed on me for our first touch, I felt a reassurance from God that this will be a season of joy. Unlike my first-time mom experience where I had baby blues, this season will be different, will be better for me mentally and physically.
Silent Nights
Since Ethan’s birth, my nights have been moments of peace, quiet, and prayer for my family. The grace of God was so evident. I’m amazed yet again with how God designed mothers:
- Even just a soft and short sound from Ethan wakes up my entire being, yet the noise from elsewhere doesn’t bother me or my sleep.
- In between feedings, sleeping for 30 minutes fully recharges me for the next round, as if I had slept a good six hours.
- And then there’s milk. It has been for me always a leap of faith, and trusting that my body will produce even when I don’t see or feel anything in the first few feedings. Lo and behold, there is!
Live Long and Prosper
Now having two little ones with us gives us more reason to take care of our health. We want to live long lives to enjoy each moment with them and raise them up “in the way they should go.”
We also are more determined than ever to be financially able, for our now and for their future.
Amazing how having another child multiplies our “adulting” in ways nothing else can! Perhaps, when God said “Go forth and multiply,” it was not a matter of making many little ones but also, in the process, a matter of being molded to be more of who He made us to be.
Dear Zaiah Ethan
We thank God for you. We’ve gone through many things together even while you were in Mommy’s womb, and came out strong.
You will grow in strength and in faith in God, and be a bearer of joy. You will influence many, simply by following the ways of the Lord. You will be strong yet gentle, and wise and humble. You will be firm in the faith, unwavering.
You are loved and will forever be. Your Kuya Noah loves you—you made his heart fuller. We love you dearly. Thank you for multiplying God’s deposits in our hearts and minds. You are a blessing to us.
