I’m currently on maternity leave and can’t believe it’s already been a month of sporadic sleeps, backaches from tandem feeding, and all sorts of stretching having twins and two older kids (7 and 2). That’s one out of the 3.5 months of paid maternity leave we get in the PH. I wish it were longer with multiples which is reasonable with the different level of adjustment two newborns bring. The nights are indeed slow, yet they clock in so fast!
Aside from they’re two, there were so many firsts for us this time.
- With Noah and Ethan, they slept more in between feedings. The twins fed every hour until 3–4 weeks, had that growth spurt (every 30–45 minutes feeding), and then currently feed every 1 hour and 45 minutes (hindi pa talaga nila ginawang 2 hours noh? Hehe!).
- They also cry more. I remember Noah was a quiet baby and would just make an “a-a-a” sound when he’s hungry. He really wouldn’t cry! Ethan would have his moments. These two cry for pretty much everything (hunger, diaper change, gas).
- CS recovery was a bit longer than what I was used to. Before, I would be up and about 24 hours after the operation, and I’m pretty much good after a week. This time I felt more pain, the first time on the toilet it took me an hour to try to stand back up! It was after hitting the 3-week mark that I was “okay.” Possibly because my belly stretched way beyond compared to the past three singleton pregnancies? Though my OB said my uterus and skin are good and heal well. Maybe also because I didn’t have much time to do side-lying in the hospital before trying to sit and stand up. No time because the twins were feeding so frequently!
But in all these, we give thanks.
I am amused of God’s design of mothers, how we seem to have been built for the sleepless days and nights that prolong for weeks and even months. But no matter how strong, there will be breaking points. There are times when my confidence is super mom level and there are times when I feel so helpless. Most of the time I swing in between.
Life is better than loss.
When the tough gets tougher, I just remember Brei. I read our story and testimony in my book and see the now in a brighter light. No matter how tough now, tending to two newborns is redemption to going home with ashes. No matter how hard, the breaking is more beautiful. We get to see yet again the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Psalms 27:13 NIV
