Loss

Trick Questions

Trick Questions

Interesting how some normal questions have become somewhat trick questions to us, and to other parents who have experienced something similar. “If you’re a mom, I’d like you to stand up,” the preacher said.


This was during Mother’s Day in 2015. I honestly got confused with how to respond. I was a mom, but I wasn’t anymore. Or am I? Maybe I’ll try to stand and then I’ll stop halfway? Hmmm…

Just the other day we were updating our bank documents. In one of the questionnaires, there was a table requiring us to list down the names of our children and their birthdays. It felt like one of my college Psychology class exams. Is this a trick question?

Then during my annual physical exam, the doctor asked me about my medical history, “Any operations?” I said that my gall bladder was removed via laperoscopy (non-surgical) back in 2011. That was my usual answer for years. Then I recalled, “Oh, and I gave birth via C-section last year.” “Any miscarriages?,” the doctor followed up as part of the standard questions. “None…” I said, with a tone uncertain if I wanted to add more information.

I’m sure there’s going to be more of these that will catch us off guard. But what’s amusing is how we can take these lightly, look at each other, and chuckle at the moment. It’s amusing because left to our own, these questions will trigger the remembrance of the worst day of our lives and bring us misery. But thank God for giving so much grace and for carrying us through our loss to the point that the pain is faint, if not no more. This verse has never been so real in my life before. I pray that if you have been or are in a season of mourning, you allow God to make this verse real in your life too. Because He can, and He will.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever! Psalm 30:11–12 NLT

P.S. If you are in a season of mourning, or have just recently been through one, I ask that you download and read my book, When God Could’ve But He Didn’t. You can learn more about the book here.

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About Pam Marasigan

Hello! I'm a wife and mom who has a full-time job and does homeschooling, and I also birthed a book a year after we lost our firstborn. I aspire to live each day according to God’s purpose for me. I believe that we were designed to live life to the full throughout life’s different seasons.