That first Christmas after losing someone you dearly love. And every Christmas after.
Wow this was a 2017 post that got stuck in my drafts. Noah, our first rainbow baby, was 9 months old when I wrote this. At the time, I was inspired to write this after a friend shared this song on her socials, and I started this post with, “Where do I start? I’m actually lost for words, and coming from a long writing break does not help. So. much. feels.” The following goes.
In case you’ve just stumbled upon this blog: as I write this, it’s been almost three years since we lost our dear Berea Dannielle. The Lord has welcomed her into His arms ten hours after I gave birth. A year after, I “gave birth” to a book hoping to encourage those who have lost loved ones, especially those who have lost their babies, to continue holding on to God as He provide the strength and grace a grieving mom needs and more. You can learn more about the book here.
Christmas. We know it as the day we remember that Jesus was born. He was God who became human to save us from the death any single sin deserves. He was the only one qualified to take our place on the cross. Death could not hold Him because He had no sin. He went through all these to make a way for us to be reunited with God, and all He left for us to do was to believe in Him. I talk more about that here.
Christmas season is also a time we get together with people we love, and so when we’ve lost someone, our grief is magnified. I remember our first family outing after Brei passed away. I was crushed deep down inside with the pain of the fact that she was not with us.
At Christmas we remember that God sent His only Son. As a mom, I only want the best for my child. I couldn’t even imagine sending my baby to another place, to be parented by others, let alone sending him there destined to die a humiliating and painful death. While God’s heart is to be reunited with us that’s why He sent Jesus to earth, and so the birth of Jesus pleased Him as it was His will, as a mom, I couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps, even for a split second, it was God who first mourned that first Christmas day. He definitely understands what we’re going through. He is not bound by human emotions, but He understands what it is for us to lose a child. As a mom, I couldn’t help but be in awe of how much God loves us.
This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.
John 3:16 MSG
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16 ESV
If you’re facing this Christmas season with mourning, I want to let you know that you are not alone. So many others are faced with the same feat. I want you to remember that God is close, pouring out His love, comfort, and peace over you and all you need to do is open the door for His grace to flood in. He understands. And He heals.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 ESV
Hold on to this promise, too: “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” from Psalm 27:13. In death, in life, God is faithful. His promises hold true. Don’t lose hope!
